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Antiques Jokes
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A young executive at Christies Auction House finished work late one night and was heading for the front door. He noticed the Chief Executive staring bewilderingly at the office shredder and decided he'd better go over and help.

The boss said to him "Can you make this thing work? This paper discloses our profit." The young exec said "Certainly, Sir," and switched the machine on. He pressed the start-button, the shredder warmed up and he guided the paper into the slot.

"Thanks, for your help," said the Chief, "but I'll need another copy."

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A drunken antique dealer was staggering down the road and asked a passer-by for the time. The man looked at his watch and told him.

The drunk said "That's funny, All night I've keep getting different answers!"

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Okay, Okay, Okay, this one's not about antiques but I thought you'd like it anyway.

Tony Blair was awakened in the middle of the night by an urgent call from GCHQ. "Mr. Blair," said the Head of the Civil Service Department, barely able to contain himself, "there's good news and bad news."
"Oh, no, not again..." muttered Mr Blair, "Well, let me have the bad news first."
"The bad news, sir, is that we've been invaded by creatures from another planet."
"Gosh," said Tony, "what's the good news?"

"The good news, sir, is that they eat reporters and pee oil."

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